snow falling on cincy

I've lived in Cincinnati for over 10 years, so you would think the weather forecasts would cease to amuse me. I remember the first time I laughed out loud when I heard the term "Sun Delay". When I asked one of my co-workers at the time what the weather guy meant by a Sun Delay, she explained, "Well, sometimes you drive up a hill and the sun is directly in front of you, so it's hard to see." Really? No...Oh my gosh...Surely, Cincinnati must be the only place on Earth where this happens. As it happens, this phenomenon occurs elsewhere as well; Cincinnati is just the only city where people slow down to 30 mph on the highway because of it.

Today, I've been hearing reports of the "Winter Storm" making its way across the United States. At first, the big news was the falling temperatures, as they predict the highs to be in the teens the rest of this week. Ok...I'll give you that's a little chilly. Of course, those of us from the Cleveland are refer to those types of temperatures as "Spring". While driving home, however, the newscasters began talking not about the cold, but about the chance for -- get this -- "blowing snow".

That's right folks...snow simply falling may be newsworthy, but throw in some wind and it beckons the label of "severe weather". I fear that if the sun is out too, we may have ourselves a natural disaster.

Having studied Meteorology, I understand how unpredictable the weather patterns can be throughout this part of the country. But I've also lived in Ohio my entire life and have learned to expect drastic changes throughout the day. When I hear the weather folks say, "Expect accumulation up to an inch", I laugh because that is barely enough to cover the grass. I grew up hearing the words "Lake Effect Snow", which means anywhere from an inch to four feet. The most impressive thing about four feet of snow is not your buried lawn, is not even the drifts between the houses...but rather the enormous piles of snow in the mall parking lots after they plow. These snow hills were easily some 40-50 feet high and were still visible in June. Cool stuff!

Anyway, I'm really not making fun of the newscasters or the people who buy into their panic-inducing predictions. I've just never understood when the weather became such a topic of attention. How did people 30 years ago survive without Weatherbug? Do we really need updated forecasts every 15 minutes? More importantly, if the weather does change, will you completely alter your life around it? There are people in our office that bolt for their homes at the first sign of a snowflake. Their rationale: "They aren't concerned about the snow. They are more worried about the idiots that can't drive in it." Yet, it always sounds like an excuse for leaving early. I've always thought, "Wouldn't you want to stay off the roads so the plows can treat them?!" Instead, everyone rushes out en masse and creates a traffic nightmare.

But I'm digressing into a whiny diatribe. I'm just sitting here trying to watch Jeopardy, but keep getting distracted by the severe weather alert scrolling across the bottom of the screen. "I'll take The Winter of Our Discontent for $1000, Alex."