my first time

Thank you all for your kind words and condolences. Some day, this will all sink in…but for now, all we can do is tango on.

On Saturday, I was hungry…starving…and, as I drove past a McDonald’s, realized I hadn’t had McDonald’s in several years. In fact, I couldn’t remember the last time I had something from their quality selection of menu items. It was a 9-piece McNuggets, but I can’t recall the vintage.

As I pulled into the drive thru and began surveying the menu, my indecisiveness struck me as funny. After all, they haven’t changed their menu in years, yet I’m still compelled to read every menu item, perhaps in a vain attempt to find that one elusive, low-calorie offering. Other than the Rubber McChicken or the Nasty McSalad, such an article does not exist.

And that’s when it dawned on me that I’d never had a Quarter Pounder. Yes, that is correct: I’ve never eaten the signature item at McDonald’s. The first McDonald's franchise opened in Des Plaines, Illinois back in 1955, and their first burger offering was the Quarter Pounder (see what you learn when you spend halftime watching the Food Network?). For over 53 years, millions of people have eaten the Quarter Pounder…but not me. I’ve eaten the hamburgers, cheeseburgers, filet-o-fish-like substance, McNuggets, grilled chicken, extra fat-laden fried chicken, Big Mac…I’ve even eaten the McRib, blissfully unaware of what meat byproduct actually makes up a McRib. But never a Quarter Pounder.

Throwing caution to the wind, I ordered my 510 calorie, 100% real* beef concession and began consumption. Though not exactly the quality of – say – Red Robin (…yummmmm…), it wasn’t the stringy, chewy, gristle-laden mass of meat I’ve come to expect from fast food. Afterwards, while managing to avoid the typical McShakes and the urge to McVomit, I did feel less hungry, but also somewhat hollow and a little greasy. But at least now I’m a proud member of the Quarter Pounder Club, even if it did take me over 30 years to get there.

* - depends on how you define “real”. SPAM ® is real, in a sense, but notice how neither of these product descriptions contain the word “natural”?