random neural firings

My brother turns 42 today. In the car this morning, my niece reportedly said, "Are you really 42? That seems old. Are going to die soon?" It reminded me of my favorite Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey:
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

I try to be fit, stay in shape, lose weight...you know, all that crap. As Cindy will attest, it reduces my stress level (somewhat) and keeps me from eating my own head. For the past few months, I've been running around 5 miles a day, at least four days a week. My workout schedule over the past few days looks like this:
Saturday - 5.25 miles
Sunday - 5.25 miles
Monday - 5.50 miles
Tuesday - 5.50 miles
Wednesday - couch miles
Thursday - 5.65 miles
Friday - PlayStation miles
This morning was my monthly weigh-in. I've lost a grand total of two pounds. How's THAT for a dose of de-motivation!

Whilst shopping at Target, I almost bought a 2-pack of black t-shirts, considering my black t-shirts are several years old and have holes in them. But then I thought, "You know, I really don't want to spend $10 on t-shirts right now", and put them back. It's funny how I won't spend $10 on something I'll have for years, but then turn around and drop $12 on a pizza for dinner.

I currently manage eight people. Of that group, I have a "core team" of three...maybe four...depending on the moon phase. The rest are unpredictable, dramatic and oftentimes unprofessional. This morning, I hadn't even taken off my coat when one of them popped his head over the cube wall and started yelling at me. I waited for him to finish, looked at him quizzically, then said, "...and good morning to you." We all want to yell at our manager at some point. And since I know I do and say things that drive my team nuts, I'm receptive to all forms of feedback. Thing is, I've never, ever walked up to my boss and "told 'em how it is" or "how it's going to be". I've walked in their office and said, "I need to talk to you about what you said" and we've had a very candid conversation, but I've never gotten all bitchy and condescending. I guess that's what is missing these days: respect. No...it's not even that so much as common courtesy.

We were watching "Survivor" last night and I was reminded again why it is hands-down one of my least favorite programs in history. The faux drama and conniving, scheming strategization make my ears bleed. It also reaffirms my belief that "reality" television is the source of our culture's rudeness. If you think about it, all of these TV shows (Survivor, American Idol, America's Top Model, The Apprentice, MSNBC...) have one thing in common: judgmental, authoritarian-type people who come up with creative ways to unnecessarily ridicule the contestants. Same thing goes for people who leave negative, hateful feedback and comments on Amazon, CNN, eBay, blogs, etc. It's all about how rude you can be and how large a bag of flaming dog poop you can leave on somebody's doorstep. That's a whole lot of wasted energy.

As I sit here chewing through a rubberized helping of microwave turkey and mashed potatoes, I'm reminded of the yin-yang turkey they used to serve in Elementary School; the perfectly symmetrical, half white meat / half dark meat turkey patties that me wonder what part of the turkey they came from. Maybe it was some sort of special, imported, interracial turkey. I mean, it had to be 100% natural, right? The cafeteria folks wouldn't dream of serving the students overly-processed, preservative-laden foodstuffs....would they?

Speaking of which, what exactly is SPAM® made of? In case you were wondering as well, the answer is ham, pork, sugar, salt, water, potato starch, and sodium nitrite (for color). Answers to this question and the many others you undoubtedly have about SPAM® are answered in the readily-available SPAM® FAQ. My favorite line is when they refer to SPAM® as being "like meat with a pause button".